“Please . . settle your disagreement.” Philippians 4:2 NLT
“A disagreement is not more important than the person with whom you disagree.”
My thoughts today are about “emotional U-turns.”
Disagreements are not hard to come by. They seem to come by every time you turn around. And I am often amazed at the silly things many of my disagreements were about. And even when a disagreement – especially with a friend – is about a more serious difference between you, ask yourself if the disagreement is really more important to you than the person with whom you disagree. That honest comparison puts everything in a much different perspective usually. You can always have your own way, if you don’t care to have anyone else is in your life.
I remember a time some years ago when I felt slighted and disrespected by a long-time friend over a decision disregarding my wishes. I nursed and justified my feelings, wanting little contact with my friend. After too long and enough emotional distance from the incident, I realized that I missed our friendship and my life felt less without the company and communication of that friend. I was not very proud of the direction our friendship had taken over the now not-so-important disagreement. I had wasted time; I needed to turn around and go to my friend.
You know what a U-turn is; it’s a 180 degree turn from the direction you were going to the opposite direction that you should be going. The longer you continue away from a meaningful relationship, the further you go and the harder it is to come back. Sometimes business partnerships, friendships, families, and even marriages are strained – maybe shattered – by too many simple, continuing disagreements. When you are going in a wrong direction and you know it, stop and turn around for God’s sake and others.
When an issue is allowed to become more important to you than a person or friendship, that seldom will be right. At such a time, you need to make en emotional U-turn. You will be a better and happier person for doing so. Disagreements start simply enough. Somebody said something; somebody did something; somebody didn’t say or do the acceptable thing that results in a disagreement where someone just walks away. Reconciliation always requires one person to make an emotional U-turn for the sake of the relationship.
Paul was appealing to two special ladies – Euodia and Syntyche – in the church at Philippi. Both were valued friends and had worked together alongside of Paul. Some unspecified disagreement had caused a rift between them, and inevitably a problem in the church. Paul pleads with each of them, “Please, because you belong to the Lord, settle your disagreement.” Philippians 4:2 NLT. Someone needed to make a relational U-turn for the sake of the Gospel.
The Bible says to settle your disagreements, “When you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins also . . If you are offering a sacrifice to God and remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice . . go and be reconciled to that person; then come offer your sacrifice to God. Settle matters quickly.” Mark 11:25 NLT/Matthew 5:23-25 NLT. Reconciliation is always God’s way to go, whoever is right or wrong.
My prayer for you today is that you value true agreement more than differences.