“Forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.” Colossians 3:12-17 NIV
“Things seem ‘too big to forgive’ when you fail to forgive the small grievances along the way.”
My thoughts today ask the question “bitter or better?”
Occasionally, life hurts. As you walk through life, be careful what you accumulate, often things that you never intended or need. Things don’t always work out the way that you hoped. Usually, it is circumstances that disappoint and confuse you. Yes, bad things happen to good people. That is a painful paradox every generation has stumbled over – “Why do the righteous suffer?” Job, a good and righteous man in the Bible, wrestled with that question in his grief and loss, and worse yet, his wife said that God was at fault and his friends thought him to blame.
It will seem easy to blame others; you assume there must be some reason, at least someone to hold responsible for your pain. Or you might be tempted to blame God, after all shouldn’t He have prevented this if He could? Or even blame yourself, though that is usually the last person anyone chooses to blame for their own misery.
People will sometimes do things you didn’t deserve, and you struggle with trying to understand why. Friendships can go crossways, and a painful distance mocks the good times you now miss. And there may be hurtful times when someone treats you in ways you think you could never forgive. But you can forgive, and you must!
You are the one who pays the price for unforgiveness. Read Matthew 18:21-35 NIV. We all need a little more Godly fear about harboring unforgiveness. The high price of withholding forgiveness comes in the coins of bitterness and broken relationships – as well as the emotional, physical, and spiritual distress you impose upon yourself. Get over it; you will be healthier and happier.
“Get rid of all bitterness . . and anger, along with any form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:29-32 NIV. The real question is how do you do that? Doesn’t forgiveness suggest that what was done does not matter, when it’s wrong and does matter? “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Read Romans 12:14-21 NIV.
I think you and I struggle with things supposedly “too big to forgive” if we fail to forgive the small, more manageable grievances that occur along the way. Grievances you do not learn to resolve in yourself open the door for larger offences to find their home in your thoughts, and ultimately in your heart and attitudes. Read Hebrews 12:14-15 NIV. Do you want to be bitter or better? I think better is better than bitter.
Learn to overlook petty things; they are not worthy of a fretful moment. Matters of disagreement or disappointment are best to be quickly addressed in everyday life, not just ignored. Like stuff under a bed, they gather dust and disuse.
But there will be wrongs that challenge every ounce of grace you have ever been given. That’s when you will need the consistent practice of forgiving others and knowing that forgiveness is the only thing that works.
My prayer for you today is to realize that forgiving is the only remedy for grievances.