“A man’s wisdom gives him patience . . to overlook an offense.” Proverbs 19:11 NIV
“The true stature of a person may best be reflected in the size of offense they overlook.”
My thoughts today are about “expiration dates.”
Though unintentional, it seems people often overlook an appointment, a promise, a birthday, an anniversary, or even fail to notice a favor or kindness shown them, yet most of us find it incredibly difficult to overlook offenses. They are just so, well, offensive! The Bible warned you, “It is impossible that no offenses should come . . behold, how great a matter a little fire kindles.” Luke 17:1 NKJV/James 3:5 KJV.
Yes, they are going to happen, most often over small things that only seem large at the moment. A lot of people are hurting; hurting people hurt other people. The issue is not whether offenses will happen to you, but when. The issue is not what happened to you; the issue is how you respond.
Most offenses should just be overlooked, many quietly forgiven, some ignored, a few confronted; all must be resolved – some unilaterally, some mutually. “A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.” Proverbs 19:11 NIV. I think the true stature of a person may be best reflected in the size of offense they are willing to overlook.
My Dad described some people as, “wearing their feelings on their sleeve.” My Dad, a pastor, was describing people quick to be hurt but slow to heal, whose sensitivity was on the surface, but their hurts went deep and lodged there. Solomon observed such souls when he wrote, “It’s harder to make amends with an offended friend than to capture a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with iron bars.” Proverbs 18:19 NLT. The longer you nurse the offense, the harder the solution.
James, the brother of Jesus, gave this wise, practical advice: “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Your anger can never make things right in God’s sight.” James 1:19-20 NLT. However right you feel you are to feel the way you do, your hurt and anger is wrong if not righteously and promptly resolved. The Bible says, “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” Ephesians 4:26-27 NIV. Don’t let hurts and offenses settle in your heart and sour your spirit.
Ever notice how many things you use every day come with an expiration date? Discount coupons, special sales events, food and dairy products, parking meters, and even life itself. Offenses, and the emotions they stir, should have an expiration date. Deal with them!
Take your hurt and feelings of offense to God first. Remember that you also have often been an offender. Accept healing; seek a solution, ask for wisdom; obey His direction. Your goal must always be healing, restoration, and relationship, not settling who’s right and wrong. Deal with the offense with self-examination and forgiveness, or deal with the offender with humility and honesty, or deal with yourself through prayer and submission to God’s grace – or ultimately God will have to deal with you!
My prayer for you today is that you keep a big heart for ready forgiveness.