Expectations

“Look for the best in each other . . do your best to bring it out.” 1 Thessalonians 5:15 The Message

Whatever credit accrues for your character or accomplishments is rightly shared with friends.

My thoughts and comments today are about “expectations.”

More often than not a child or teen’s behavior lives up to what is communicated as expected of them. Of course, there are times that generality may fail to apply, just as happens with adults. I have observed that a person’s reasonable expectations of others are typically proven to be true. People who look for good in others usually find that. Conversely, people who expect the worst from others usually find what they’re looking for as well.

I think that people are most likely to assume goodness in others when they truly like people and strive themselves to be their best. This seems to be supported by the Apostle Paul’s description to Titus, “Everything is pure to those whose hearts are pure. But nothing is pure to those . . [whose] consciences are defiled.” Titus 1:15 NLT. If always expecting people will disappoint, check your own heart. Sometimes what you readily see in others may merely be a reflection of your own heart; the faults we ignore in ourselves can seem glaring in others.

With deliberate exaggeration, Jesus accented the folly of judging another’s faults while ignoring your own. “Why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye . . when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? . . first, get rid of the log in your own eye, then perhaps you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.” Luke 6:41-42 NLT. Specks and logs! Maybe we should take care of the worst first.

The Bible makes your objective simple and clear: “Look for the best in each other and always do your best to bring it out . . this is the way that God wants you who live in Christ Jesus to live.” 1 Thessalonians 5:15 The Message. Do you consistently “look for the best in others?” Inclination, interest, attention, and a listening heart are essential relational skills to see the best when others are too preoccupied or busy with themselves to notice. God asks you to not only see what might be overlooked by others, but also contribute to others by your support and encouragement.

Honest, accurate affirmation from friend or family makes a powerful difference in anyone’s life. “Jesus is the divine yes – God’s affirmation . .” Read 2 Corinthians 1:19-22 NLT. Along my journey, there have been many gracious people who saw things of God in me that I dared not assume for myself. They affirmed those qualities or abilities, and then tirelessly supported their further growth and development. My friend, Don, reminded me of once saying to him, “Thank you for not letting me be what I would have been without your friendship.” It was accurate; his affirmation and expectations prompted my desire to be better. I hope, in some measure, I have done the same for others.

To my parents, church families, friends, teachers, and especially to my remarkable wife and family, whose affirmation and companionship made me better, thank you. Whose friendship makes you a better person than might have happened without them? Whatever credit accrues to you for character or accomplishments is rightly shared with them. Thank God for them, and thank them. Do better than tell them; write them so they can read it again and again and be encouraged.

My prayer for you today is that you recognize the contributors to your achievements.