Getting Even

“Do not be overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:21 NIV

Life is better when you respond positively to negative realities.

My thoughts and comments today are about “getting even.”

Getting even might feel good for the moment but its satisfaction is short-lived and leaves a lingering, bitter taste. Getting even is never a good idea. You cannot afford the cost of buried bitterness, which flavors your life for a season and sometimes forever after. Here’s the Bible’s advice: “Looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause you trouble, and by this many become defiled.” Hebrews 12:15 NKJV. Bitterness results from your failure to embrace the grace of God.

When you fail to respond righteously as God directs, you internalize hurt and the self-imposed harm is worse than anyone else’s words or actions can cause. Harboring hurts and grudges is relationally destructive and personally unhealthy – negatively impacting your emotional, physical, and spiritual health. God’s answer is forgiveness; forgiveness is the antidote for bitterness. Read Matthew 6:12-14 NIV. “Be kind . . tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:29-32 NLT. When you forgive, healing begins. Joseph saw the intent and actions of his brothers but saw God at work. “God turned into good what you meant for evil.” Genesis 50:20 NLT. Forgiveness releases God to work in ways you cannot foresee.

The answer is simple in principle but difficult in practice, “Live in harmony with one another . . Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge . . Do not be overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:16-21 NIV. Overcome evil with good. Admittedly, that instruction is counter-intuitive. It is perfectly natural to want to hurt people who hurt you, but that is a natural instinct, not spiritual, that worsens rather than resolves situations. Getting even is a poor, problem-solving strategy.

Jesus’ teaching is clear, “go the second mile, give more than can be required of you, and turn the other cheek when mistreated” – go further, give generously, behave righteously. Read Matthew 5:38-45 NKJV. My conclusion from that is this: life is better when you respond positively to negative realities. Imagine how much peace and joy you discover by obeying God (and how much fun you will have confusing those who make life difficult).

It takes two people to have a fuss; likewise, it usually takes two people to settle differences. But it only takes one person to do what’s right and pleasing to God; be that person and do what is right. When wrong has been done to you, do what’s right anyway, “as far as depends on you.” Do what you can for reconciliation and trust God for what you cannot.

You can be either proactive or reactive; reacting to hurt forfeits God’s grace. Being proactive minimizes misunderstandings and seeks Godly reconciliation. Paul’s solution is love, “[Love] keeps no record of when it has been wronged . . but rejoices whenever truth wins out. Love . . is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NLT. Love always wins.

My prayer for you today is that you release hurts quickly and embrace healing confidently.