“My soul, wait only on God, for my expectation is of Him.” Psalm 62:5 NKJV
Expectations are not debts you are owed or can collect.
My thoughts and comments today are about “unmet expectations.”
Unmet expectations happen all the time. When that occurs, do you feel disappointed? Your answer will likely be related to one question. Were those unmet expectations of yourself, or someone else? Reasonable expectations of yourself are a good thing, providing a target for personal improvement, a measurement for how you are doing, and a goal for further achievement. To a great extent you choose those expectations and you control their fulfillment most of the time.
When I fail to live up to my own expectations, I find reasons to understand. For my poor performance, I am willing to “grade on a curve.” But be careful; it is easy to excuse your failings yet be less understanding and accepting of others’ failure to meet your exacting expectations of them, whether stated or silently undeclared. What do you feel? Hurt? Frustrated? Angry? Or at least, disappointed?
Let me suggest a few practical strategies. As for yourself, set reasonable expectations that provide adequate motivation for you, yet will avoid a discouraging sense of failure if not reached fully. A good goal should not result in bad guilt.
As this regards others such as family and friends, limit your expectations to what can be commonly expected of anyone – courtesy, communication, respect – and what has been clearly communicated and mutually understood. Hold your expectations lightly; your expectations are not “legal requirements” that you should or can enforce, nor debts you are owed and can collect. Examine your expectations frequently and adjust accordingly, as befits the relationship as well as serves yours and another’s individual well-being.
Communicate expectations kindly but clearly; don’t expect others to read your mind. Offer understanding and forgiveness freely. “Freely you have received, freely give.” Matthew 10:8 NIV. Be gracious to others, as you trust they will be understanding of you. We all have disappointed others, sometimes carelessly, sometimes ignorantly. Remember the Golden Rule: “Do for others as you would like them to do for you.” Luke 6:31 NLT. When disappointed, trust your unrealized expectations to God’s care and grace. Don’t pout or hold grudges.
The Psalmist, David, understood where one’s expectations will never be disappointed, “My soul, wait patiently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him.” Psalm 62:5 NKJV. Let your ultimate expectation be this, “For I live in eager expectation and hope that I will never do anything that causes me shame . . that my life will always honor Christ, whether I live or die.” Philippians 1:20 NLT. I think that verse also voices God’s expectation and hope for you.
My prayer for you this day is that your expectations rest firmly upon God.