“A man who has friends must himself be friendly.” Proverbs 18:24 NKJV
“Friendships are often a reflection of the friend you are willing to be.”
My thoughts today are about “friends.”
My Mom and Dad modeled the high value of friendships for me. Our home was a happy place for the frequent comings and goings of their friends. As a child, I enjoyed the laughing and loving retelling of their stories of special times and places they had shared across the years. That experience established my values of where others fit into one’s life and taught me the growing richness of good friends across passing years.
Friends are important in my life. If you are wise and want your life to be rich and full across a lifetime, good friends will become important in yours as well. There are friends from my childhood and teen years that made a significant difference in my experiences and fond memories of growing up. There was a bond we enjoyed in the simplicity of life at that season. Most of those friendships centered around our small neighborhood and church life. Their acceptance and company left lasting fingerprints on who I was becoming.
Friends come and go across the path of one’s life, but the ones who come and stay are soon prized for a depth of shared life not common to everyone. Some are irreplaceable, their fingerprints more enduring, their counsel more trusted, their loyalty unquestioned, their contribution more valued. I wish for you the quality of friendships that I have been privileged to enjoy.
Be friendly to everyone and let friendships grow naturally as they will. You’ll be better for it. In years of observing people’s relationships, I have seen that those based on someone’s neediness for affirmation and assurance are the hardest to form and maintain. It is a waste of everyone’s time to hold too tightly or to pull someone closer to you who is subtly pushing away. If a relationship is not uplifting – fun for all parties – it probably will not grow into a meaningful friendship. There is an essential mutuality that is at the heart of all lasting and meaningful friendships; healthy and happy friendships are about what you provide others, not about what you need from them.
Another thing I have observed is that friendships reflect the quality of the friends themselves. The better the people with whom you share your life, the better the quality and strength of the relationships you will enjoy. Trustworthiness and similar interests and values are often foundational to true friendship. Opposites may initially attract, but similarities build lasting fellowship.
Age and life experience are elements of friendship, but not the only elements. Hold closely to friends of longstanding, but make new friends as long as you live. I enjoy friends younger, and some older, and of similar age. Younger ones keep me fresh with their enthusiasm and discoveries; older ones teach me wisdom and broader perspective; those of a similar age share a common season of life with me. Most of all, keep your family as your dearest friends always, and include your friends into your family. Eventually, they become family!
I leave you with this question: are your friendships a reflection of the friend you are, and have you become a reflection of your friendships? I think both will be true. My friends have taught me real friendship; I am better than I would have been without them. I hope I returned that favor.
My prayer for you today is that you have a life full of the best of friends, and that they feel the same.