“Let nothing be done through strife.” Philippians 2:3 KJV
“Learn to live with others with neither aggressiveness nor defensiveness.”
My thoughts today are about “motives and methods.”
A lot of things are done instinctively, without thought to their source. You may simply do what seems natural to you. Or you may do what you do as a reaction to what someone else has done. For instance if you feel sufficiently threatened, your innate response is either fight or flight. You protect yourself fiercely or remove yourself to a place of perceived safety.
But what about all the things that you do everyday, without much cause or thought. Behind every action there is something much more subtle, your motive – why you do what you do, and what you expect to gain from that.
People act out of some sense of deficit. Your actions can become a habitual response in a manner that seems to promise something you lack or want. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.” Philippians 2:3 NIV. Relationships that are built on the shaky ground of a person’s neediness – whether yours, theirs, or mutual needs – are seldom healthy, never last, and ultimately bring you more hurt than help. No one is complete in themselves, but the danger is in totally seeking all your deepest needs to be met in anyone else except God. See 1 Corinthians 1:25-30 NKJV. “For in (Christ) dwells all the fullness . . and you are complete in Him.” Colossians 2:9-10 NKJV.
People act out of a sense of defensiveness. Life has a lot of bumps and hurts. People who are themselves hurting will hurt others, intended or not. When you are always reacting to what happens to you, or what is said about you, or your perception of what was done to you, life is neither satisfying nor happy. Reactions are allowing someone else to hold the power over what you say or do, or even what you feel or think. That is a power that should not be given away to others.
I love the story of Jonathan and David. The Bible says that Jonathan loved David as his own soul and made a covenant with him giving to David his sword and his bow. Whatever else he intended, there is a beautiful symbolism of friendships that relinquish defensiveness or aggressiveness. Jonathan accepted vulnerability and offered David safety. Imagine if you had that kind of friend, and if you were that kind of friend.
People should act out of personal decisiveness. Live your life by your choice, not your circumstance. Choose who you will be and what you will do. Do what’s right, not what gains you advantage or revenge. Here’s God’s answer to how you fulfill the instruction in today’s verse. “Do nothing out of strife . . in humility consider others better than yourself. You should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 2:3-11 NIV.
You include others in your consideration, not exclude yourself. I think that is as simple as obeying Jesus’ command to “love God with all your heart . . and love your neighbor as yourself.” Mark 12:29-31 NIV.
My prayer for you today is to live life with a single motive, to serve and please God.